Monday, 27 June 2016

I don't know what to do

here I sit, alone as always. Today brought one of the 2 best episodes of my favourite tv show probably ever - season 6 finale of Game of Thrones. After the Battle of the Bastards last week I'm guessing all the whingers & Georgey boy "the books are betters" shitheads might be quiet for a minute. That will be nice.

For 69 minutes I was entranced, and happy. That was it for the week, actually for the year as far as GoT goes. Now I am back to my regularly scheduled black depression. Worrying about my oldest who is waiting to see a surgeon about a hernia surgery. He is in pain. Spoke to my middle child today, he was going to call me back after he watched GoT. He didn't.

Then there's my daughter. My baby who is due to have her own baby in app. 5 weeks time. A little girl. My poor girl has been sick every single day of the pregnancy. She just wants the baby out here so she can stop throwing up and being in pain. She has been really good at coping, whenever I see her anyway. That's the problem now, for me. I don't see her. She lives 5 minutes' drive away, says she is always happy to come get me and bring me over, says she wants me to see all the baby things she got at her shower. Then, nah. It doesn't happen. I totally understand her being exhausted, cranky, not in the mood, whatever. It's just when I hear her happily chatting from a friend's kid sister's birthday party or wherever she might be when I finally call her to check in. It honestly seems to me that she is ok to do anything, except have me over so she can do exactly as she does the rest of the time in her own home.

We are very close. This is really starting to hurt me.

if anything in the world aside from millions of dollars can cheer me up, it's photos like this <3
be prepared for ALOT.

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